Gradu-Fail-tion

 

Perhaps it was juvenile to refuse UC Berkley and Sanford over UC Santa Cruz. Frankly, it could be assumed that I would not have kept an A- grade point average while working 3 jobs; one full time, one internship, and one volunteer program as an editor for the Creative Writing Department. Perhaps it is also considered a greater foolishness to have a degree in Literature, a necessity I evidently value and can not consider without. I prefer Jane Austen, Henry Miller, and Toni Morrison to Honey Boo Boo, her idiotic family, and other pop culture references that are demeaning to the human race.

                However, I am proud and honored that I have, and will continue, to do my best to reach my goals. I want nothing more than to be a book editor, since my Creative Writing Professor, Micah Perks, said I was among the most pervasive, interested, and detailed student editor she had ever met.

My previous work experiences are varied from manual labor to intellectual toil, and yet, it is not considered enough to win over this overwhelming economic struggle. I am currently working (for free) at the Patterson Irrigator in my hometown as an Advertising Intern. I went in to get a possible job as a journalist, but they have no need for any other employees, considering they are under Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.

 I want to write, and yet, it seems impossible for someone who graduated with the highest honors, and three jobs throughout their college career, to even attempt at such an endeavor. I did not previously wish to relocate from California, but now I am forced to apply anywhere I can, despite not having enough to get myself settled.  I am lucky enough that my parents are proud of my past successes, and allow me to stay home without paying rent. They know I have absolutely nothing. They have seen the places I’ve lived, and out of pity one year, bought me a bed so I would no longer have to sleep on the ground of my closet sized apartment.

There was no doubt that when I graduated from college with honors, I believed myself capable of being the first of my friends to land a career; my cockiness caught up to me. Sorely, I found myself left with nothing but self-pity and lost connections. My previous professors no longer work at UCSC due to budget cuts, or a promotion elsewhere, thus their @ucsc.edu email addresses no longer work, forcing me to lose ties and direct references considering my editing ability. All I have are old references on my expired portal, which most companies explain to be less than satisfying.

 Of course, I can ask for references from my three jobs, but there is little need for editorial input when one works as a supervisor for Marini’s Candies, INC or an internship as a Promotions Assistant at Atlantis Fantasyworld, a comic distribution center. To be clear, I enjoyed these jobs immensely, but wanted an adult profession, something to be proud of, something that I can call my own, and most importantly, something I can write.

So here I am, scripting my woes.

No one will read, but at least I will continue to write.

It soothes to me to think that I’m not the only one in this predicament, but something has to be done to hardworking individuals working for free. I invested so much time, so much money, believing that if I worked hard enough, no matter how little I had, I would prevail. And not just prevail in terms of monetary value, but a value in pride and self-worth for accomplishments that I wanted to execute. And I’ve tried so hard to sell myself to the public, to snag that chance, but I can’t even get my foot into the door. I’m silenced before I even speak.

 It’s appalling to think that I’m not abrasive enough, that I’m uninteresting enough to not even obtain a phone interview.

Something has to change.

If anyone is reading this, I could use some insight. Please.

 Please.